To help people gain unconditional self-acceptance and to believe that they are okay or are good just because they exist had better be taught to all children in the course of their schooling, from early childhood onward.

Fifty Shades of Grey: REBT Style (Yes I am going there!)

Without spoiling the plot of the book “Fifty Shades of Grey”, I got to thinking about one character… Dr.Flynn. Flynn is Christian Grey’s therapist (but I bet you already knew that… since you read the book. Hey it’s ok I read all three.) I was interested in his approach while working with Christian. Although it is not explicitly said, Flynn seems to work from a psychoanalytical perspective… meaning he relates Christian’s childhood towards his presenting issues… As I was reading I kept thinking how can I relate REBT towards Christian’s presenting situation?
Some of the conclusions that were worked out in therapy were kind of Freudian. Specifically Christian’s attraction towards women who look like his mother. Although I believe it is helpful to analyze Christian from this angle, personally I would have liked to look at his irrational beliefs surrounding haphephobia (fear of being touched as diagnosed by Flynn). I would of liked to do the ABC exercise and I imagine it would look something like this:

Adversity:
My lover touched my chest

Beliefs:
I am going to get hurt.
This is wrong.

Consequences:
Emotional: I feel afraid and nervous
Behavioral: I am distant and cold

Dispute/Debate:
In therapy, Christian and I would debate his beliefs and come to the conclusion that his beliefs lead to his emotional and behavioral consequences (as opposed to the adversity/activating event). Many people tend to believe that events within themselves cause emotional and behavioral reactions, whereas it is the beliefs that we attach to these events. Christian would rationalize that he will not get hurt when his lover sensually touches his chest. In addition being touched consensually is a totally normal thing to do with someone you love, trust, and care for. The idea is that with this understanding Christian’s emotional and behavioral responses will become healthy and less debilitating. In couples therapy we could work with his partner to communicate about their wants and desires related to sex to make sure they are on the same page and both getting what they need.

Overall I have my own critical opinions of this book (seriously how many times did you roll your eyes when Ana said “oh my”? I must of shook my head every time!). But one thing is for certain… therapy played a key role in the development of the characters. Can you think of more ways we can apply rational emotive behavior therapy to this storyline? Or possibly to your own life? Do you have any sexual hang-ups? Well then hit us up (pun intended).

Hi, I’m Suzanne and I am joining the offices of Dr. DeMarco this summer. I have an M.A. in Counseling from NYU and have worked as a school counselor at a middle school in the Bronx for the past seven years. I am making the transition into private practice with both adolescent and adult clients. I am a strong believer in positive thinking and see so many people, no matter what age they are, bring themselves down by the negative, irrational thought patterns. Through therapy I want to help clients learn to change their outlook on life and themselves so they can improve their well-being. Low self-esteem, social anxiety, insecurity and self-doubt are areas that far too many people struggle with on a daily basis. I want to help people realize they don’t have to struggle with these feelings . Feeling confident, secure, and self-efficient are traits that I believe can be taught through talk therapy. If you feel like sitting down and talking to an objective person who can guide you to making your own realizations about what you can do to improve your life experience, feel free to make an appointment and discover how beneficial therapy can be. I look forward to our work together!

No one wants to pay for something they can get for free or on the cheap, right? Unfortunately, with therapy, as with anything else in life, sometimes you get what you pay for. This is a bit of a rant (however, always with a sense of humor). Be brave and read on!

We get calls several times a day about whether we take insurance, why we can’t see people for less than what we charge, whether we can submit claims to insurance, etc.

Here’s the thing. Insurance companies in this country are part of the problem, not part of the solution. They are big, giant, faceless corporations that are out to make money, paying out the minimum of money to the providers and patients that work with them. Have dental coverage? Awesome! Have medical coverage? Also great- how would you afford that emergency appendectomy, otherwise?! I could write volumes about how screwed up the medical system is in this country. But psychotherapy, or therapy, or counseling (whatever you want to call it), does not have to be part of that dysfunctional system, and certainly the way I run this practice is an attempt at doing something a bit revolutionary.

We charge rates that are much below what other therapists in Manhattan charge, however one that allows us to keep our doors open. The clients we get to our website or who call us, are largely referred by word of mouth, or by actual content on the internet. We don’t buy ads. We don’t stuff our website with keywords so it reads like a google thesaurus. And most importantly, we don’t sell our souls to insurance companies so THEY can refer us clients. We just do good, effective work. How do we measure what is good & effective? We don’t let insurance companies or the DSM (the book of mental illnesses written by psychiatrists) tell us what your problem is. We use evidence-based, cognitive behavioral therapy and a series of rating scales before and after every session to see if what we’re doing is effective for you.

Using insurance means you are sick, and you have x number of treatments until you are cured. Breaking up with your partner, then wanting therapy does not count as a sickness. Your partner cheating on you and wanting to do couples therapy is not covered, because couples therapy is not covered by insurance at all, in New York, or anywhere else. We don’t think many people who need/want therapy are sick. We think that they are human. And we all need a little help to get back on track. Therapy, driven by the client, not by an insurance company, can help do that.

When people think of therapy, many still imagine they are going to lie down on a psychoanalyst’s couch (especially when people think of therapy in New York). Psychoanalysis is something that is in-depth, and is usually several times a week for several years. Psychoanalysts are licensed in New York, and not many other places, because that style of therapy is not what insurance companies think is most effective. In fact, if you notice how many people are medicated in this country, you’ll start to get the idea of what insurance companies want. You have x illness, take x pills, and only see a psychiatrist once every 3 months for 15 minutes to get your medications refilled, and go back to your dead-end job (but one that gives you insurance benefits).

Modern therapy is relatively short-term. If you decide you are in crisis, we might go twice a week. Otherwise we go once a week for 4-8 sessions, then check in with you. If you are ready to go every other week, we go every other week. If you’ve learned how to deal with what you came in for, and you can apply what you learned to other crises that will come up in life, then we encourage you to go out there and do it- not stay in the therapy room talking about your dreams, your mom and your miserable childhood.

So that’s it. Therapy = good. And not just a way for therapists to bleed you dry. Insurance = good for dental work, not great for emotional problems that took years to create (since they’re only going to give you weeks to “cure”).

During your initial session, we charge a flat rate of $75 to individually assess what is going on with you in multiple areas of your life. During that session, we discuss fee, which is usually $125 per person per session, but is based on your individual financial situation. You should know this is less than what people spend on going out in NYC in a weekend. This is less, sometimes, than getting your hair done. And this is certainly less than hiring an attorney and getting a nasty divorce. Because we believe in the work we do, we want to teach you how to be your own therapist, and get you out of therapy, which sometimes can happen in a matter of weeks or months, not years.

I’m sure you can find a therapist who works with your insurance for as long as your plan pays out. If you turn your insurance card over and call the mental health line, someone will give you a list of names and numbers to call. However, if you want to work with modern, effective therapists in New York to get your life back in your hands, feel free to schedule with us!

Whining, as defined by experts—the therapists, spouses, co-workers and others who have to listen to it—is chronic complaining, a pattern of negative communication. It brings down the mood of everyone within earshot. It can hold whiners back at work and keep them stuck in a problem, rather than working to identify a solution. It can be toxic to relationships. (Full Article)

There are lots of therapists who will gladly let you come to their office one (or 3- I’m looking at you, psychoanalysts) times a week to “blow off steam”. The thing is, simply talking about every negative thing that has ever happened to you just keeps you stuck in that negative thinking.

As a licensed mental health counselor and marriage and family therapist, I use evidence-based work with my clients to help them recognize how disturbed thinking leads to disturbed moods and behaviors, a type of therapy pioneered by the late Albert Ellis, called REBT or Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy. (More at http://www.mytherapistnewyork.info)

I think this style of therapy would probably qualify as “tough love”, although like the philosophy of Zen Buddhism, is infinitely compassionate. That means that yeah, as people, we have a tendency to whine when we put conditions on how we have to be (perfect abs), on others have to be (loving us and treating us exactly how we want to be treated…or else) and on how the universe has to treat us (making millions of bucks and reading the WSJ). But the good news is that unlike 12 step, religion, psychoanalysis, et al, you don’t have to rely on some magical “cure” to your issues. There’s no cure. There is recognizing how we largely upset ourselves, and we can probably learn (through a lot of practice) to un-upset ourselves.

So a therapist who is going to say “Uh huh, and how does that make you feel?” or “Uh huh, and how was your relationship with your mother”, run the other way. But a therapist who is going to help you put you back in your driver’s seat through active work in the therapy room (and hopefully in a non-judgmental and humorous way) to help you identify faulty thinking and challenge it to replace it with something more rational and less self-defeating will have you in and out of therapy before you can say Freud.

Dr. Michael DeMarco

http://twitter.com/drdemarco

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Do you ever feel that you are being stretched like a rubber band? Too much stress can do this to you. It can make you feel uncomfortable physically and emotionally. It can prevent you from doing things that you need to do such as working, taking care of your family, having relationships with others. It is important to be able to recognize the effects of becoming overstressed. There are physical effects which may include increased heart rate, headaches, upset stomach and back pain. The emotional effects of stress may include feeling irritable, becoming easily frustrated, having difficulty focusing and worrying more frequently. Everyone experiences some stress throughout the day. A little stress can be good as it may help to motivate you to get things done. For some people, stress may feel exciting and pleasant. For others it can deplete your energy and make you feel unhappy. When stress increases throughout the day, we are usually able to regulate the stress by being aware of when it is occurring. We can then change our behavior to help reduce the stressful feelings or as some might say “de-stress”. This can be done by taking a break from activities which cause stress or finding ways to relax. In some situations, we don’t recognize when there are too many things occurring which we cannot handle at the same time. This can be too many changes such as a new job, moving to a new home, the death of someone close to us as well as many other changes. Stress can also occur when we have too much information to process and cannot handle it as in studying for a college degree or learning a new computer program for work. It can also occur when we have too much responsibility at home or work or even when we just have too high expectations for ourselves.

For example, let us say that I have some deadlines to meet at work and my supervisor has made it clear that I must meet all of them by the end of the day. I know I won’t be able to do this as there is not enough time for me to meet the deadlines. On top of this, my child is ill and I need to pick her up from school and take her to the doctor. Also I just started this job a few months ago and the medical insurance has not started yet so I will need to come up with extra money for the doctor’s bill which I don’t have since I was not working for several months before I started this job. All of these problems or stressors are adding up. I am becoming overextended. Some might say that “I have too much on my plate.” I need to do something to help reduce the stress. What steps should I take to help me do this? I can’t just stop everything and not take care of my responsibilities. But, I also can’t do everything at the same time as the stress is building up. At this point, I decide to find a way to manage my stress so that I can continue with my life. In order to accomplish this, I need to look at the problems or stressors which brought me to this point. First, I address the stressor of my work. I didn’t let my supervisor know that I needed more time to meet the deadlines as they required more work than had been anticipated. By dealing with the problem with my work, I have eliminated a stressor. Next, I address the stressor of my child being ill. I will need to let my supervisor know that this situation has come up, and I will make up the time I need to use by coming in early and staying late the next day. Of course, this means that I will need to find child care to cover those hours and this will be more money I need to come up with. This becomes another stressor. But now that I have less stressors, I can handle this one. Next, I address the extra expenses by going over my budget and cutting out or juggling some expenses that are not as necessary. By doing this, I may not completely reduce the stressor but I have lessened its severity.

Stress is a fact of life. We cannot eliminate it, but we can help to reduce it when it becomes too overwhelming. If you are having difficulty dealing with stress and want some help, please join our upcoming group, “Don’t Stress Me Out!” This group will help you find strategies to better manage your stress. It will also serve as an outlet where you can share your experiences with others in a non-judgmental and accepting environment. For more information on group dates and times, email me at mona@mytherapistnewyork.info or schedule a consultation with me anytime.

The much-discussed third episode of the series, which aired in late April, was rife with misinformation about HPV, a reflection of the real confusion felt by twentysomethings — or perhaps just by the show’s writer, Lena Dunham, who plays Hannah. (Full Article)

You might not think people get sex education from tv, but really, when it is not universally (and effectively) taught in schools, and when people are still trying to pull the old chestnut of “teens are now more sexually active than ever” (teens have been sexually active since the dawn of time), ,you begin to see why it’s important that tv get’s it right.

Then, in an article about the tv show not getting it right, the author forgets to mention the vaccination that prevents most of the strains that lead to cervical cancer in women (and anal cancer in both men and women). The vaccination is approved for people aged 9-26 with the thought that most people will have been exposed to the strains it is trying to keep you from getting if you’re older than 26 and have been sexually active.

Have genital warts? Get them treated, and relax! As a sex therapist in NYC (http://www.mytherapistnewyork.info) I see a lot of folks who are recently diagnosed with this or another STI, and who think their lives are ruined, and who are filled with shame and misinformation (which are totally influenced by shows like this as well as the comments area in the article above).

Yes, abstinence is the best way to not get a sexually transmitted infection. Otherwise, if you want to prevent pregnancy and most STI’s, then use condoms (though you could still get HPV) as well as oral contraception. People have sex- it’s a thing. Don’t listen to the puritans.

Dr. Michael DeMarco

http://www.twitter.com/drdemarco

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A bad dose of the “Anyways”:

A few days ago, I found myself relating a story to a friend. I was recounting how I had taken my guitar to a guitar shop for repair, and how it had been returned to me with a ding implanted in the baseboard, that had not previously been there. I was incensed that they had not owned up to the infraction, and had implied that the dent was there when I brought it in. I noticed my anger rising in the retelling of the incident, and just at the point where I felt my incredulity reach its height, I interrupted my story with a curt: “Anyway…”

What better way to end the conversation? It was my way of letting my friend know that I didn’t want to talk about it any longer. While I might have curtailed the conversation, the feelings of anger and incredulity were still alive in me.

Next time you’re involved in a conversation, or you happen to overhear one, take note of how many times these utterances of “anyway” and “whatever” wend their way into everyday conversation. I encourage you to try an experiment where every time you find yourself about to utter an “anyway…”, substitute the phrase, “and so..”, or, “so it goes.” It may seem like a small, unnecessary task, but “anyway” has the effect of moving oneself into a reactive frame of mind; whereas, “and so…” orients one towards a degree of acceptance. Even as I say “anyway” to myself, now, as I write this – it has the effect of creating a small fist in my chest. Try it, and see how it feels. “Whatever” has a similar effect. It is a negation of feeling, rather than an acceptance. On the contrary, when I utter, “and so..”, to myself, my shoulders drop just a little and a little space opens in my chest, like the palm of a hand facing upwards.

This ties in very closely with Rational Emotive Behavioral Therapy (REBT) and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) techniques, and also has a grounding in “Narrative Therapy” and leans towards Buddhism and therapy. It asks the question: What is the nature of acceptance? What is the nature of denial? If we can find a way to move through life, with all its attendant joys and pains with a mentality of “and so…”, rather than “anyway”, or “whatever”; then we may start to accept our circumstance. It is from this point of acceptance that we may start to move through pain, or over and around obstacles.

When our response to pain, be it physical or psychical, is with a “Whatever” or an “Anyway”, we run the risk of turning that pain into suffering. When our response to pain is with an, “and so…”, or its equivalent, then we give ourselves a chance of allowing the pain to alleviate. “Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional”.

I invite you to step into my office to explore further ways in which we may work together to alleviate suffering.

Peter Gevisser is a therapist specializing in working with couples and individuals, using Imago Therapy, CBT, REBT, Narrative Therapy, Expressive Therapy and Creative Therapy techniques. To schedule with Peter, click here.

(Buddhist therapy, Holistic Therapy, Rational Emotive Behavioral Therapy REBT, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy CBT, Couples Therapy, Albert Ellis, Aaron Beck, Imago Therapy, Narrative Therapy.)

What is it that brings us to therapy? Most often it is how we are feeling about ourselves. We feel depressed, stressed out, angry, lonely, just to name a few. But we are never alone in these feelings. When we go to a see a therapist for our problems, we bring a group of people along with us. Our relationships with others. They follow us into the therapist’s office. Very often a relationship with another person is the basis for why we are upsetting ourselves. We are not getting along with our partner, child, friend, co-worker or parent. Our relationships with others often force us to look at ourselves and our own behavior. Sometimes we realize, on our own, that we need help when our relationships are not working. Sometimes it is others who tell us that we need help. Sometimes it is our relationships which are in need of help.

Some of our relationship conflicts have been going on for years. For example, family members, especially adult siblings, can have intense feelings that began when they were very young children. Those feelings which may have been normal and appropriate when they were children do not work for grown adults who are supposed to be mature. However, many of us find ourselves in situations with siblings where we begin to feel the same childlike feelings we felt many years ago. When a client comes into the office and tells me that they are not getting along with their sibling, I listen to their story. They tell me how they feel hurt by their adult sibling who might have called them names, did not respect them and treated them badly. When they are finished with expressing their pain, I ask the client a question: Can you change your sibling? Can you change the way your sibling behaves? The answer is almost always no. I then ask the client: Can you change yourself? Can you change the way you behave when you feel that your sibling is trying to hurt you? The answer is usually yes. I then ask the client: What can you do to change yourself so that your sibling’s behavior will not hurt you anymore? At this point, the client begins to realize that he or she has some control over the situation. He or she is not the vulnerable child but a mature adult. The client then is able to come up with very practical and concrete ideas to change the way that they are thinking about the situation with their sibling and are now on the way to being able to handle it in a more positive way.

The importance of relationships, with siblings or anyone else, cannot be underestimated. We are all connected to others in some way. Finding ways to work out our problems is necessary to stay connected and have healthy and happy relationships.

If you’re interested in working on identifying the beliefs that keep you upsetting yourself, and working on ways increasing the happiness in your life, come and see me in session!

Mona@mytherapistnewyork.info

Before you run to check yourself into a “clinic” or to see someone who “specializes” in “sex addiction”, I urge you to check out this video above from the Magnus Hirschfeld Archive for Sexology. Any behavior can be used in a self-defeating way, and I think this is a thorough and rational way of looking at this issue.

I have been interested in sexuality for as long as I can remember, which, incidentally, is about as long as I knew I was gay.  I had wanted to go into the mental health field, and as soon as I took my first sexuality course my sophomore year at college, I knew that this was the direction I wanted to pursue.  I took as many courses I could find, which surprisingly for the University of Missouri in Kansas City, was more than you might think.

When I trained at the masters level in Psychology, I chose to do an emphasis in marriage and family therapy, which seemed to make the most sense.  It was shocking for me that during graduate school, we were only offered one course in human sexuality, and it didn’t really focus on how to work with clients on issues related to sexuality.  (It’s even more shocking to know that one course in sexuality is more than many medical and mental health professionals have, including medical doctors!)  Like most graduate students in the mental health field, I had a clinical internship where I worked under supervision with clients.  I felt woefully unprepared to work on sexual issues, and often avoided bringing up anything unsavory in session.

Luckily, I came across a unique doctoral opportunity in clinical sexology, from a small program in Florida.  Florida, by the way, is one of the only states that certifies sex therapy, and requires a minimum of 120 hours of education as well as supervised experience in order for therapists to call themselves “sex therapists” (as licensed people in a mental health field who also practices clinical sexology).  This extensive (and relatively intensive) training really prepared me for what clients actually came to therapy with- issues ranging from high intimacy but low libido in couples, to a critical analysis of the “sex addiction” meme.  There were eye-opening discussions on working with people with gender identity issues as well as sexual identity (who knew that being gay does not make you an expert in sexual identity?!).  I was trained in working with folks who struggled with desire and arousal issues as well as issues like premature ejaculation, erectile dysfunction and other sexual difficulties people might deal with, whether in individual counseling or couples therapy.

In my practice now, I supervise graduate students and post-graduates to be well-versed in the various issues that present in therapy that are related to sexuality.  Often, clients remark that they have never felt comfortable talking to previous therapists about sex, which never ceases to amaze me.  How odd that you can talk to your therapist about all sorts of issues, but not sex!  How odd to leave out your interest in kink or fetishes when working on your relationship in couples counseling!  How odd to go take pills like Viagra for erection problems when most of the time problems with erection are related to psychological state, not physiological problems (mind, not body)!

Talking about sex with your therapist doesn’t have to be creepy or awkward.  The discussion often involves some reading at home (“Sex Without Guilt in the 21st Century” by Albert Ellis is a good place to start), as well as some introductory sex education.  When working with clients about sex, or any other issue, it isn’t our intention to be judgmental, moralizing, etc.  It’s also not going to end up with therapist and client forming any sort of sexual or intimate relationship.  (People often confuse sex therapists/clinical sexologists with sex surrogates which are quite rare, and have mostly been outlawed in this country).  The work between therapist and client involves frank and open discussions about sex and sexuality, a basic human drive, and how struggling with this drive can sometimes cause you to become anxious, depressed, repressed, angry, guilty, or any of the other unhealthy negative emotions we get bogged down with from time to time.

When you have issues with your sink, you call a plumber.  Hopefully when you have issues in your life, you will find the right therapist with the right training to help you out, whether related to sex or something else.

Losing a loved one can be the hardest thing a human being can go through, especially if it’s a sudden loss and we haven’t had time to prepare for it. not only is losing a loved one probably the hardest thing we can ever go through, but it’s amplified when we have never gone through a difficult loss in the past.

My Therapist New York is offering group counseling to help you recapture your life while honoring the loss of your loved one.  Group counseling is not only an effective way to handle the grieving process, but it’s also more cost efficient. Group therapy is very effective because it recreates our social conditions in the real world. It also provides a supportive environment for everyone to share their experiences and derive strength from others in the group.

More importantly, we will be teaching cognitive techniques that you can take away from the session, and put to use on your own. Loss is an inevitable part of life, but it doesn’t have to hold you back from living and thriving. If you are interested in group counseling please contact us at 212-343-7008, or mitch@mytherapistnewyork.info

Dr. DeMarco supervises graduate student therapists as well as post-graduates working towards licensure in New York as Mental Health Counselors or Marriage and Family Therapists.

We offer support in your journey towards emotional freedom and happiness – something that comes from you, not from us. We’re not selling diagnoses and pills. We’re not selling answers to all of your problems. We are here to teach you the tools to create your own psychological, emotional and philosophical way in the world- your life, for you, by you. One size does not fit all. Life can be painful, but only you can decide if you want to make yourself suffer.

In our work with clients, we are interested less in a label or pill to give you so we can bill your insurance,rather we hope to help identify how people, as Albert Ellis called it, self-disturb. That is, we’re not big fans of putting more labels out there in the universe, but help people learn to, well, “undisturb” themselves.

Sound like a long process you can’t afford? This isn’t 12-Step. Leave your DSM and expectations at home.

Interested in sessions with us? We’ll teach you how to measure your progress in therapy as well as how to be your own therapist. If it’s not effective for you, we’ll happily refer you elsewhere.

There are individuals, groups, corporations- whole systems of people designed to try to make you feel anxious, scared, depressed, helpless, and hopeless. Whether they are successful or not is up to you.

Want to know more? Schedule now!

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My name is Carmen and I am currently
attending Long Island University pursuing a Masters of Science in Mental Health Counseling.
I understand the importance of having an open-mind when working with people from different
cultures and backgrounds. (My own parents come from Puerto Rico and Honduras). I chose to become a Mental Health Counselor to help individuals cope
with their stressors and give them the tools they need to help themselves. I previously completed
my Masters in School Counseling at Hunter College and have worked to help
students from all sorts of different cultures reach their short and long-term goals. At the offices of Dr. Michael DeMarco, I work with clients
on issues ranging from relationship conflicts, to family therapy and parenting skills, sexual health and counseling, people working on career goals,
adolescents who might be struggling with school, home or social life, and more.

I am very excited to begin working with you. Feel free to schedule online or email carmen@mytherapistnewyork.info

Mi nombre es Carmen y mis padres son de Honduras y Puerto Rico. Estoy estudiando en la
Universidad de Long Island para ser una Consejera de Salud Mental. Yo entiendo la importancia
de tener una mente abierta cuando se trabaja con personas de diferentes culturas y orígenes. Con el Dr. Demarco busco ayudar a las personas a trabajar con el estrés y darles las herramientas que necesitan para ayudarse a sí mismos. También completé mi maestría

en la Escuela de Consejería en Hunter College y trabaje en escuelas de barrios pobres para
ayudar a los estudiantes de diferentes culturas a alcanzar sus metas a corto y largo plazo.

He vivido en Nueva York durante la mayor parte de mi vida y disfrutar de la vivacidad de esta
ciudad! Me gusta correr por toda la cuidad y conocer gente nueva. En mi tiempo libre, me
encanta pasar tiempo con mi familia, ya sea viendo una película o saliendo a comer en la ciudad.
Yo soy una gran fanática de los deportes y disfruto ver a mis equipos de Nueva York!

¡Estoy emocionada de trabajar con ustedes!

carmen@mytherapistnewyork.info

Talk is Cheap

Terapia en español and therapy in English!

My name is Josie and I am currently attending Long Island University where I am pursuing a Masters of Science in Mental Health Counseling. In addition to being a full-time graduate student, I also work for Good Shepherd Services where I provide advocate-counseling services for vulnerable youth that are pursuing their GED.

I am a Latina from Brooklyn New York, and my parents were born in the Dominican Republic. Although I love being a New Yorker, I would like to visit exotic countries. During my spare time I am learning how to cook traditional Dominican dishes. I like to eat Indian, Mexican, Italian, Chinese and Thai food. (I love to eat!) Overall I like to have fun, spend time with my loved ones, eat food and ride my bicycle when I can.
I look forward to working with you!

Mi nombre es Josie y yo soy una estudiante en Long Island University. Yo estoy estudiando para ser una Consejería de la Salud Mental. Además de ser una estudiante a tiempo completo, también trabajo para Good Shepherds Services donde ofrecen servicios para los jóvenes vulnerables que están estudiando para obtener su GED.
Soy una Latina de Brooklyn, Nueva York, y mis padres nacieron en la República Dominicana. Aunque me encanta ser de Nueva York, me gustaría visitar países exóticos. Durante mi tiempo libre estoy aprendiendo a cocinar los platos tipico de la República Dominicana. Me gusta comer comida india, mexicana, italiana, china y tailandesa. (Me encanta comer!) En general, me gusta divertirme y pasar tiempo con mis seres queridos.

¡Estoy emocionada de trabajar con ustedes!

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Hi! My name is Kristine.  Throughout my life and studies I have found that many people respond to life’s stressors in different ways. I try to understand what is going on with me in most situations and do my best to strive to gauge what is going on with those around me. I find it helpful to look at situations from not only my point of view, but from the vantage point of those who may also have been affected by a given situation. This has really helped me put things into perspective and has helped me realize  that there is not necessarily a wrong way to view experiences. Instead, we can view situations in ways that are helpful and productive to our mental health or ways that make us feel stuck and possibly hopeless.

It is my goal as a therapist to help my clients see that they own their thoughts and feelings. They are in charge of they way they interpret situations in their lives. It is my hope to help them gain a healthier outlook on their thoughts and feelings, and challenge those that do not seem to be working for them. It is also my goal to help clients be able to take into consideration that people in their lives may not have the same worldview that they do. This may affect the interactions that they have with others and it is important not to assume that people will react the way that we believe that they should.

I try to have a warm and open approach to therapy. I value being direct and honest, while understanding that it is important to meet clients where they are at currently. I chose to become a therapist because I want to help people learn more about themselves and gain the skills necessary to help themselves. We must acknowledge that life will be difficult at times, and it is important to have the tools we need to get though the tough spots. Therapy is not the type of relationship that many people are used to. You may find out how you relate to others in a way that your friends and family will never tell you. It is a challenging and eye-opening journey that I feel everyone can benefit from. Feel free to schedule online. I look forward to working with you!

Hi! My name is Mandy. I recently completed a masters in mental health counseling and I am currently pursuing a clinical Ph.D in Human Sexuality. I have an eclectic style while working with clients. No two people are the same. therefore, different styles of therapy suit different individual needs. My belief is that an individual is an expert on their own life. My role as a therapist is to aid clients in reaching goals they have set for themselves by guiding clients through an exploration of their thoughts and feelings. It is my goal to have clients challenge their own thoughts and behaviors in order to adopt new, healthier beliefs and behaviors.
I work with individuals and with couples using a variety of theories and techniques. The base of my work stems from a person-centered approach from which I support and accept my clients where they are in their current situation and gently aid the client in moving towards their goals by focusing on their strengths.

Individuals do not live in a vacuum, but rather in the context of their environment and their relationships. While exploring inner thoughts and feelings, it is important for me to understand how these translate into a client’s social and environmental context to better aid clients in becoming the effective person they wish to be. I look forward to working with you! Schedule with me online for an intake, and I will be taking new clients within the next month.

Hi there.  My name is Mona. I completed my masters degree in mental health counseling in 2009 and am working under the supervision of Dr. Michael DeMarco while working towards obtaining my license which will enable me to be independently licensed as a mental health counselor in the state of New York, one of the four recognized mental health practitioner (psychotherapist) licenses.

For the past several years, I have worked with clients who experience a variety of mental health issues.  These issues include feelings of depression and sadness, dealing with conflict in relationships, understanding issues of identity, coping with grief and loss and making important life decisions such as in health, education and career.  I work with clients who range in age from early adolescence to older adulthood.

I believe in a humanistic and person-centered approach to therapy- which means the focus of our work is on the positive assets the client brings to therapy already.  I also believe that the relationship between the client and myself is collaborative and we work together to find solutions to problems.  I use various interventions and techniques such as REBT and Imago therapy in a warm, accessible and humorous way to help clients find some more effective, insightful and rational ways to deal with the issues life may throw at them.

Please contact me to arrange for an appointment by using our online scheduler.

Peter Gevisser was born and raised in Johannesburg, South Africa. He graduated from Brown University with a BA in English and American Civilization in 1994. He then moved to London where he trained as an actor, and had been working professionally as such, in London and the USA, until he enrolled at Antioch University, where he graduated with a Masters in Clinical Psychology last April. He recently completed his training as an Imago relationship therapist and is under supervision with Dr. DeMarco as a final step towards becoming a licensed marriage and family therapist in New York.
The focus of his work draws from these diverse disciplines.

Couples and Relationships

Peter is a trained Imago couples therapist. He works directly with couples to help them listen to each other. While this may sound elementary and self-evident, very often, couples experience difficulty because they’ve lost the ability to communicate effectively with each other. This means developing skills to listen without becoming reactive and defensive, and to talk, without being critical or aggressive. It is through re-finding empathy for one’s partner that this may be achieved. Peter will help you to develop these skills in a safe, non judgmental atmosphere. His work has shown that, in the ability to work through obstacles, couples emerge stronger, and with a new, deeper appreciation for each other. The romance that they find is often deeper and stronger than the original burst of first meeting and falling in love.
(The seminal book on Imago Therapy is written by it’s founder, Harville Hendrix: “Getting the Love you Want”.)

Creativity

As a result of his appreciation for the power of creativity, he works with patients to rekindle lost passions. Often clients struggling with addiction – be it sex, drugs, or alcohol – benefit from substituting these “negative” addictions for positive rituals that delve into creativity. Peter will work with the client to explore what creativity means to each individual client.

He also works with students and professionals who may be experiencing “blocks”, encouraging them to reignite their passions.

Grief and Bereavement

Peter works with clients to move through grief and bereavement, using creative forces. Creativity may involve writing, painting, drawing, music, cooking; or anything else that the client defines as creative. Creativity may also be a simple act of appreciation. Peter will work with clients to find ways in which they may honor their lost loved ones through creativity. Different cultures use specific rituals to honor their lost loved ones. It is often the case, in the Western World, that rituals have been lost in the rush to “get back on ones’ feet” and “get back to work”. While these mantras have their value, it is equally important to balance them with taking the time to honor our lost loved ones. He has a strong belief that one doesn’t “get over” loss, but learns to live with it – and in so doing, one’s life may become richer and deeper for it.

The Safe Space

Freud coined the phrase for psychotherapy as “The Talking Cure”. Hendrix has taken from this and extended the definition to “The Listening Cure”. Therapy is also about what we choose to do. “The Doing Cure”. Peter hopes to provide a safe space wherein which the client feels free to explore, focusing further on what (s)he may “do” to work with these discoveries. Through his extensive training as an actor, Peter is deeply aware of the different messages our bodies convey in space. His hope is that, by creating a safe space for the client inside the therapy room; the world outside, will seem a little less overwhelming and scary.