“Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional.” Buddhist proverb

Posted by peter in Articles, Therapy Styles

A bad dose of the “Anyways”: A few days ago, I found myself relating a story to a friend. I was recounting how I had taken my guitar to a guitar shop for repair, and how it had been returned to me with a ding implanted in the baseboard, that had not previously been there. I was incensed that they had not owned up to the infraction, and had implied that the dent was there...

Managing Expectations

Posted by drdemarco in Articles

This is a topic that is always interesting to analyze because the distinction between where we place our expectations, and the way we balance our different expectations. So where do we place our expectations? In reality we place expectations on everything. It’s a human instinct to categorize and label our experiences, and by forming an expectation it’s a way for us to manage...

Holiday Cognitive Distortions

Posted by drdemarco in Articles

Over the Holiday break while visiting family, some of the cognitive distortions that run amok in my family became very clear to me. Don’t get me wrong I love my family and I wouldn’t be the (most-of-the-time-hopefully-good) person I am today if it hadn’t been for their parts in my life. However, as I watch many of my younger cousins getting older and coming of age, it becomes...

What’s Your Cup of Joe?

Posted by josie in Articles

Yesterday I tweeted “Sometimes a good book, insightful conversation, cup of coffee/tea goes a long way!” and I started thinking about how sometimes the best part of my day is drinking a piping hot cup of strong coffee. Every morning I wake up and either make myself a cup of coffee of I go to one of my coffee spots in downtown Brooklyn and request the perfect cup from a barista. To...

Exercise and mental health

Posted by nicole in Articles

If working out is not on your 2012 new year’s resolution list, why don’t we change that. It can be the perfect balance of the body and mind. Lets say you are not striving for six pack abs or buns of steel, or even  about preventing future diabetes or heart disease. But...

Shame-Attack Exercises, or… Go out there and make an ass out of yourself!

Posted by drdemarco in Articles, Therapy Styles

I’ve touched on this in previous posts, but a great intervention in rational emotive behavior therapy is called the shame attack exercise, and is great when people make themselves crazy thinking they have to please others.  The exercise in a nutshell, is to put yourself in a situation where you will be judged by others, maybe even where you actively displease others, and you face...

Turning off the noise or- moneyinthepantsmoneyinthepants

Posted by drdemarco in Articles

Remember the ABC’s we talked about a few weeks ago.  A is the Activating Event, B are the beliefs in your head (thoughts/cognitions) about that event, and C is how you respond as a result of those beliefs.  By practicing the ABC exercise, keeping in mind the unconditional self, other and life acceptance aspects, you can begin to change your thinking to behave in a more balanced...